The main reason I’m a terrible blogger is probably my lack of consistency. I’ve been blogging on and off since 2009 and yet I always find myself having to write a “I’m back bitches” type of post – such as the one you are reading now. I still haven’t figured out how not to be a sporadic blogger but I say it’s time for another attempt at regularly blogging starting with a little update about the going-ons in this cringe comedy I call my life.

The last time you heard from me, I was gleefully writing about winning my first ever short story competition. Since then here’s what I’ve been up to:

★ I ran for a spot on my University’s student council (and lost LOL)

Now that it’s totally over and I don’t have to give diplomatic, “vote-for-me” answers, I’m ready to admit that I ran for student council on a whim. A friend literally whispered it to me the morning I started getting the paperwork for my little campaign. Before that day, I wasn’t even aware another election was going on. I didn’t even want the responsibility. I wanted a room on campus (one of the perks of being on the student council) that I could sell off because your girl loves money and campus rooms can get you quite a bit of it.

That said, I’ve never been so relieved to lose at anything. Given that I was totally half-assing my campaign, I don’t think actually being elected would have been a positive turn of events for me. But in a comic twist of fate, the position I ran for is now vacated and will likely be available to run for again next semester but I learned my lesson the first time – politics, even the collegiate kind, just isn’t my thing.

★ I got a new housemate who turned out to be a nightmare (So I turned into a nightmare too)

Yeah, so living with this person was a total clusterfuck. I ended up kicking her out literally into the night. Evil, I know but I knew where she’d go and that she’d be safe so I’m not a total fucking monster. The whole experience is definitely not one of my proudest moments. I ended up acting deplorably and even though I have provocation as an excuse, and feel little remorse over the matter, it was actually a really unhealthy situation and it left me with a lot to mull over (because savagely kicking someone out is definitely not a thing nice, healthy people do and I’m definitely trying to be one of those. I guess admitting my flaws is the first step.)

★ I started working for The Slice Magazine

Well, look who’s kinda sorta finally getting her shit together! That’s right friends. I write this as the Chief Editor of the Slice Magazine – a brand new youth magazine for Malawians. Our first issue is out very soon so keep a look out for us!

I started a photography hustle with my brother from another mother, Joseph.

We’re called King Shots Photography and bih you know I’m about to self-promote right now. We do photo shoots, weddings, parties, events and product promotions. Call us on +265 888 944 674.

★ I got Malaria (probably cosmic penance about the housemate deal)

Malaria sucks y’all. My last bout started at the very beginning of my semester holiday and since I was living alone, I had to take of myself. I did a poor job of it and dropped down to 66kg (not good). I’m so happy and thankful to be in good health now.

★ I was a bridesmaid at one of my closest friends’ wedding.

(detailed posts definitely coming soon!)

★ I started working on new stories.

Not only am I an inconsistent blogger, I’m also an inconsistent writer. But I’m very happy to now be working on two projects – my next novel, a short story competition entry and (if I can actually manage it) an entry for a novel writing competition We’ve reached the part of the post where I swear up and down that I’m going to consistent from now on and to expect more posts and silly musings from me. You hear that? This is my official return to blogging. I’m back, bitches!

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